R U OK? How to know the signs and what to do if someone’s not OK.

We all have good days and tough days. Sometimes the people around us might be struggling, even if they don’t show it. Asking “R U OK?” can make a big difference. It’s not about having all the answers, it’s about showing you care and being there for someone.

In this article, we’ll look at:

• how to notice the signs that someone might be having a hard time
• how to ask R U OK in a caring way
• what to do if the answer is “no”
• where you can find help and support
• why asking matters

R U OK? is a national movement that encourages everyday conversations to support mental health. Research shows that most people feel cared for and more connected when someone takes the time to ask how they’re going.

A friendly check-in can:

• help someone feel less alone
• give them a chance to talk about what’s going on
• encourage them to take steps towards getting support

Signs someone might be struggling

It’s not always easy to tell if someone is doing it tough, but there are some common signs to look for:

• changes in mood, like being more quiet, angry or sad
• withdrawing from friends or family
• losing interest in hobbies or activities they usually enjoy
• changes in sleep or appetite
• saying things like “I’m feeling stuck” or “I don’t matter”

Remember: you don’t need to be certain before you ask. If you notice changes, it’s worth reaching out.

Four simple steps to start the conversation

You don’t need to be an expert to ask R U OK. Here are four steps you can try:

Ask

• Pick a good time and place.
• Keep it simple: “Hey, I’ve noticed you’re not yourself lately. How are you going?”

Listen

• Give them time to answer.
• Don’t rush or interrupt. Just listen with an open mind.

Encourage action

• Suggest things that might help, like talking to a friend, family member or health professional.
• Offer support: “Would you like me to go with you to talk to someone?”

Check in

• Follow up after a few days: “I’ve been thinking of you. How are you going now?”
• It shows you care and that you’re still there for them.

What if someone says “no, I’m not ok”?

It can feel hard if someone opens up about their struggles. You don’t need to fix everything for them. Just being there to listen is already powerful.

If they are not ok:

• thank them for sharing with you
• remind them that support is available
• encourage them to talk to their GP, a counsellor or a trusted support service

If you ever think someone’s life is in danger, call 000 straight away.

If you’re the person being asked, and your answer is “I’m not okay”, it’s important to not delay getting the support you need. Our blog Everyone’s asking R U OK? But what do you say if you’re not? May be helpful to read. We’ve also listed places you can go to for support below.

How this relates to finding a job

Looking for work can sometimes feel stressful, especially if you’ve been out of work for a while. Checking in with others, or having someone check in on you, can make the journey easier.

At CoAct, we know that building confidence and staying connected are just as important as job applications and interview tips. If you’re having a tough time, remember you don’t have to do it alone. Your consultant is here to support you with both your job search and your wellbeing.

Where to find help

Here are some helpful places you or someone you know can go for support:

• Lifeline: 13 11 14 – available 24/7
• Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636
• Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800 (for young people up to 25)
• Your GP or health professional
• Your employment consultant – talk with them for support and career help. They can also help connect you to the right support services.
• Ask Izzy: https://askizzy.org.au/ – find services near you.

Asking “R U OK?” can seem small, but it can mean a lot. You don’t need special training, just a caring heart and a bit of time. Remember, checking in with others helps them, and it can also help you feel more connected.

If you’re finding a job challenging or you’re worried about how you’re feeling, talk with your consultant. They’re here to support you with career help, interview tips, and wellbeing.

You’re not alone. A simple question can start a big change.